I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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