giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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