SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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