dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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