I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
