can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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