I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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