Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Operation Purity has been aborted
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
