OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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