I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
