sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
