Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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