sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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