just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize