When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
