____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
