found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I woke up under a house in Key West
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
