i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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