What did we do last night that was yellow?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
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you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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