So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
