That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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