You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize