For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
