It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
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