she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
