i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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