She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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