So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
