yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
