16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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