So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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