I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bring me that man meat
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
