I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
