Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
