A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
