i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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