I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It's never too late to be topless.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
