So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
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