I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
