Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
