If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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