Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
