That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
that's an acceptable place to lick
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
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Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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