brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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