Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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