dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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