absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
