Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Your cock deserves a montage
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize