my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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