Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
