Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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