you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
