ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize