i jhust puked up my retainher.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i out mim tonsoeep
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