i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
