oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
