i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."