the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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