About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you will always have a special place in my vag
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
